I am so spoiled. There I said it. Nick is way too good to me. “Daddy, can I have …” “Daddy, can we do…” He says “Sure Baby girl” 99% of the time. Even if he really doesn’t want to do a good portion of the things I ask to do.
I am still trying to figure out why I am writing this. I know as soon as he reads this he will decide to stop spoiling me, and then my world is going to be turned upside down.
Maybe that is what I want.
I think deep down I want him to say no. To hear him pull rank in a sense and deny me the things I want. I think I have been given too much freedom and I am tired of having it. I want to sing like the caged bird. I want to live my life within tighter restrictions. I want to feel the weight of Nick’s hold over me more often.
Does wanting all of this make me crazy? Have I upset all of my fellow feminists by admitting I want a man to completely control my life? Maybe, but I don’t see a problem with it. Not when I think it is something I need to feel fulfilled.