At first this all felt like other topics we had done recently, until I read the blog post It’s Not as Petty as You Think by Kayla Lords. That post spoke to my soul. It’s like I had written it myself. She talks of not always asking for help because she would rather do it herself so it gets done her way and in the time frame she wants it done. This is a constant battle for me. She gave an example of laundry that I live on a daily basis. I like my pants and towels folded a specific way, and no matter how many times I teach Mr he still does it wrong. I have had to give in and just accept the help for what it is, even if I sometimes go back and re-fold the items if they are so bad I can’t stand it (that is a battle for future Lindsay).
I have had to learn to tell Mr my negative feelings because I don’t want it to turn into a bigger issue down the road. Because it does. It has happened. The discussions that occurred after were full of tears and me feeling guilty for holding it in and making things worse. I don’t like that guilt. I know negative feelings are going to happen. That isn’t the issue. The issue is watching Mr’s mood and facial expression just drop. Like instantly. It’s a work in process, but at least I am working on it.
The other side of this is in my point of view if there is bad news or something bothering either one of us I think its better to say whatever it is no matter how unpleasant. Put the issue on the table so it can be dealt with. I am not one to pull punches or push things down until it makes me overly stressed or sick to my stomach. I did that for a long time an no good ever came from it. The folding stuff I never been good at it I attempt it and fail, not on purpose I just suck at it. Like most things it all leads back to having good communication and being to express yourself. My face may drop and i may seem upset but not as upset as the information being held in and possible resentment building that is something that is just poison to a relationship. On the brighter side Lindsey has been doing better at expressing herself, and I still suck at folding towels.
– Dom Venom
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