30 Days of D/s: What Submission Means to Me

I recently found the 30 Days of D/s on Kayla Lords blog. I love doing things that makes Dom Venom and myself discuss and look at our relationship. So because he is so accommodating he agreed. We will be doing the challenge and sharing the responses that we feel aren’t too personal.


I have so many reasons why I do it, and it all boils down to one concept.


Submission isn’t what you see or read about in that story about the man with the monotone color last name. It’s not what you see in porn. It is a couple coming together and realizing that at their core they are each part of a nice little puzzle. We both have our strengths, and we both have our weeknesses, but the beautiful thing is ones strength makes up for the others weekness. For example I have a weight problem I would like to get under control, but I have no self control. He does. When he says we are going on a walk or doing some form of excercise I do it. If he tells me I can only eat healthy, stay under my calorie goal, and not drink soda I do it.  I won’t go into his weaknesses because it isn’t fair to him, but sometimes the tasks he asks me to do helps him improve on those.

It means realizing that I have faults and He can help me fix those faults. It means that at the end of the day, when I am tired of being in charge I have someone who will let me kneel at his feet so I can feel the weight lift off my shoulders. It means accepting that we both have our strengths and weaknesses and the best way to be strong as a couple is for me to submit to him.

I am thankful for my Dom’s commitment to helping me be my best self and taking care of me when the weight of the day is too much. I know dominating and taking control of someone’s life is stressful and takes a lot of energy. So why wouldn’t I do whatever I can to make his life easier. Like making his lunch, making the bed so he comes home to a welcoming room to relax in, making his coffee if I get up before him in the morning, and doing his laundry.

Don’t get me wrong the kinky stuff really helps too. I want to make sure he is satisfied, and by telling me what he wants and how to do it I know he is satisfied. Plus, the more he tells me what to do the wetter I get and the more orgasms I have. The rougher and more demanding he is the better.

Some may say that we are like a 1950’s couple who has REALLY KINKY sex and fetishes. That is okay with me. It works for us. We make each other happy and continue to help the other grow as a person.


This is a difficult question to answer for me. We actually talked about this while drinking coffee this morning. I mentioned that I would be a bad submissive only because I wouldn’t know how to handle it. As A Dominant I can share some opinions on what it means from my point of view. The first thing that comes to mind is that it takes an unbelieveable amount of trust to submit to anyone I feel that submissive are very brave and truly trust in their Dominants ability to help them grow as a person. I think the vanilla world really doesn’t understand that and labels a lot of submissive weak and that’s just plain wrong.Secondly as we get more involved in this lifestyle I am noticing many submissive are usually people who have to give orders all day and direct other people wether it be at work or at home with their kids and families being submissive in their relationship gives them a break in the way that they don’t have to make decisions or have to boss other people around its actually a way for them to be vulnerable to an extent. Finally its really about giving each person in the relationship something they want and need. I love having the ability to guide my submissive and help her reach her goals and pushing her when i need to. Let’s be honest the really kinky sex is just a huge bonus that we both enjoy.

– Dom Venom

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